Why chasing over a man only makes you look desperate, pathetic

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I have always maintained that a woman shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move if she sees a guy that piques her interest.

However, I didn’t mean you should blatantly chase him. You should simply put yourself in a situation where the two of you might interact and express your interest. After that, the ball should be in his court.

You should never pursue a guy. If he likes you, he will make a move. If you express interest in a guy and he doesn’t make any effort to pursue you, let him go. Continuing to chase him only makes you look desperate and a little pathetic. To be honest,

[Photo: Courtesy]

I chased a guy once and, as is always the case, it did not end well. In hindsight, I realise I was, in fact, a little desperate. I had just ended a serious relationship and was determined to show my ex that I had moved on.

He would have been the perfect upgrade from my ex. He was incredibly handsome, successful and drove an awesome car. I know it sounds shallow, but yeah, even the car he drove had to come into account because it was much better than my ex’s.

Even though I really did like the guy, I was more concerned about him being better than my ex and relished the thought of how my ex would feel when he found out I was dating someone so much better than him. Long story short, I was determined to snag this guy.

I never actually made the first move. I had seen him a couple of times and thought he was cute, but I never tried talking to him nor him, me until one day fate intervened. A little incident got us talking.

[Photo: Courtesy]

I immediately expressed my interest and instead of letting him come after me, I went after him. I didn’t want to leave anything to chance.  For the next three months, I shamelessly threw myself at him. I would invite him out on dates, try to invite myself over to his place and I was always the one initiating contact.

Sometimes, he would accept my proposals, most times he didn’t and it took a toll on my self-esteem. I had given him all the power by showing him that I needed him more than he needed me, so he was free to treat me as poorly as he liked.

He would only see me when it was convenient for him and didn’t care about keeping up communication with me. Eventually, I realised what I was doing and stopped making the effort to see him. He never tried to reach out to me, so the relationship just faded. We never even formally broke up. We just stopped talking.

Ladies, you can express your interest in a guy, but you should never chase him. A guy who really likes you will pursue you, so you don’t have to do the pursuing. When you chase a guy, he will not have the incentive to go that extra mile to treat you well and impress you.

@roxannekenya


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