My ‘cougar’ girlfriend is driving me up the wall, calls me childish

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Hi Uncle Ted, I’m one of your greatest fans and I never miss any of your articles on relationships. Now, I’m 30 years old and cohabiting (two and a half years now) with my girlfriend who is 43.

We have an adorable daughter. However, whenever we have arguments she says I’m childish. Secondly, sex has become a very rare item in this come-we-stay relationship.

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I have never cheated before and I’m really considering doing it now because my agemates are banging like crazy, whereas I’m getting almost none. Or could her age be the reason why she is not interested? Thirdly, do you think we have any chance of spending our lives together? Mr M

Dear Mr M,

Madam has every right to call you a child, because you are. Women give birth at 13, you know! That shouldn’t worry you though.

Practically every married woman, including Mrs Donald Trump, believes her husband is a childish, brainless twit - which is true most of the time. And last, count your blessings that she isn’t nagging you for sex.

Read Also: Uncle Ted, my hubby has refused to beg me for lungula

Many of the tribal warlords you see on TV haven’t touched their wives for months, even years. Judging by the respect they command from their tribes, it can’t be such a bad thing. And ooh, women your girlfriend’s age love lungula like peremende!  Go ?gure.