Don’t have another baby with a deadbeat man

If you happen to have a kid and unfortunately find yourself alone, I think you should shut that womb down until you are officially married or something.

It’s sickening to see an unmarried woman with a bunch of kids all with different fathers and yet she cannot even afford to raise these babies. Haven’t you heard of contraceptives?  You are not obligated to bear crotch fruit for every man who walks into your life.

You know you can still enjoy good sex without necessarily pumping your tummy with his seed?

I’m sorry to say, but you must be the queen of idiots if you are a single mother and then another man comes to you to convince you to have a child with him without any kind of official commitment. “I want you to have my kid” is not reassurance enough for you to spread your legs and take it in without a sheath. 

He is simply taking advantage of you because you are oozing desperation to have a man in your life. Seeing that you are already in that situation because you chose to breed with a deadbeat should put your signals on high alert before you find yourself back on the same spot.

I know there are some women cursed with making bad choices in men. Blame it on daddy issues, but you should know when to stop breeding. It’s not cute when people assume you run a day-care because your kids have totally different features.

Put your foot down and refuse to be a baby factory for all kinds of irresponsible men. Don’t shave if you have to, or wear torn lingerie before dates if that would stop you dropping your pants on impulse. Sometimes that’s why you find yourself alone, because no man in this world wants to carry the burden of a team of kids with different last names.

In life, every woman must have goals - from major things like career to finer details like the number of children you are going to have. That way, no man will jerk you around. You know how men are compulsive liars: they lead you on with false pretence that they want a kid with you, but what they actually want is to hit it raw.

The moment you tell them your period is late, they disappear faster than a makanga who has pocketed forgotten change.

Some women have very low self-esteem and only feel loved or wanted when a man is huffing and panting on top of them. First of all, you need psychological help. Your body should not be used as a dumping site.

You have the right to demand when and how you are going to have sex. If a man chooses to walk because you demanded protected sex, let him. He is not worth it.

Child support laws are not very stern in Kenya. I know for a fact that you cannot force a man to love or financially care for a child he doesn’t want.

Some men go to the extent of quitting their jobs so that they would be exempted from the payments. And contrary to what you might have heard, no child is born with a plate full of goodies.

It takes lots of effort to raise a child. So, the more you’ll have, the more they will financially and emotionally weigh you down.

And this will push you to desperation, looking for just any man to hold on to. Now comes the men who molest your children or are violent to you but you won’t say anything because you want that marriage more than your own wellbeing.

Or the men who will tell you to abandon your kids in the village because they cannot raise another man’s kids and you oblige because of your thirst to be loved.

If a man shows that kind of animosity towards your kids, chances are he is not a good father and will bail after burdening you with more children.  

Learn to make smart choices in life and give your kids a better future. Abstinence, long-term family planning methods, condoms and emergency pills are all free in government health facilities, but you still choose to carry the spawn of freeloaders.

Kwani that kitty of yours will wither if it doesn’t take milk?