Stalking your ex? Reasons why you have to move on in case of a breakup

There is no such thing as winning or losing a breakup
  • It is human nature to feel a bit ticked off when we see our exes better off without us
  • Instead of focusing on proving to your ex that you have moved on, put that energy into achieving your goals
  • There is no such thing as winning or losing a breakup, strive to progress in life

A friend of mine recently went through a breakup and she is hellbent on “winning” the breakup.

 For the past few weeks, she and her loony boyfriend have been embroiled in an intense look-how-awesome-I’m-doing-without-you game, each determined to show the other that they are so much more happier than their ‘loser’ counterpart post-breakup.

She has been going to great lengths to achieve this. The once self-proclaimed introvert has suddenly become a party animal.

She dresses to the nines and goes out clubbing multiple times a week and then makes sure that the photos of her having a wild time are plastered across all her social media platforms for her ex to see.

She has also been accepting dates from questionable characters that she would have never looked twice at before.

 Her only criterion is that the guy be better looking than her ex, a bonus if he appears successful.

He doesn’t necessarily have to be, just as long as he looks the part. The fancy dates she goes on are also well documented on social media, complete with dashing photos of whichever heartthrob has captured her interest that week.

I know for a fact that she has been the one footing the bills on most of these dates.

Her ex has not been left behind. He has been posting pictures of himself on exciting getaways surrounded by a bevy of beautiful girls. By all accounts, he is living it up.

I know this because my friend spends an absurd amount of time monitoring his online activities. She spends hours obsessing over who he is dating.

Even though she swears he doesn’t mean anything to her anymore, she is ridiculously territorial over him and gets jealous when she sees him having fun with other women.

She talks about him all the time and hassles their mutual friends to get information on what he is up to.

The whole concept of ‘winners’ and ‘losers’ in a breakup is ridiculous. There is no such thing as winning or losing a breakup.

People think that the winner of the breakup is the one who moves on the fastest. Breakups are hard and moving on is not instantaneous.

 It takes time. Just because someone seems better off in the short term does not mean they are going to be the winner in the long run.

I know that both my friend and her ex are unhappy and haven’t moved on, otherwise they wouldn’t be pulling such stunts to show how they have moved on.

They are too busy focusing on winning the breakup to actually work on moving on for real. By default, they are both losing the breakup because they obviously still care.

It is human nature to feel a bit ticked off when we see our exes better off without us, but focusing on immature goals of winning the breakup will only lengthen the moving on process.

Instead of focusing on proving to your ex that you have moved on, why not put that energy into achieving your goals. Instead of posting pictures of yourself at the club with a guy you don’t even like, post updates of your progress in life.

@roxannekenya


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