My wife doesn't want a politician's portrait on our bedroom wall

Photo: Posed by models

Hi Uncle Ted,

I don’t know what’s wrong with my wife. I have hung a portrait of a senior politician that I loathe on a wall in our bedroom.

When she asked me why, I explained that each time we make love, I look at that portrait to stop myself from coming prematurely, because I get distracted by the many nasty things I would love to do to that thief with my bare hands.

Now my wife is demanding that I pull it down because it is demeaning. What should I do?


I agree with your wife, Philipo. You should pull it down. You honestly can’t be staring at some filthy politician while making love to the mother of your children.

After all, it is not like premature ejaculation is such a bad thing. A lot of the people you see walking around and talking big, including that thieving politician, were probably born of a tryst that lasted three seconds and it didn’t affect their fortunes in life.

The way I see it, your wife is the problem. It is not that you come too fast, but it is your wife who is too slow. Tell her to work on her speed!