When Americans chose a foul-mouthed, rich Republican man over an accomplished woman the Democrats had settled on as their presidential candidate, the world was taken aback.
Seems like the US opted for mediocrity and chauvinism instead of exemplary leadership. But that's democracy. The people of America had spoken. The man with a weird hairdo had captured the minds and hearts of the majority with a promise to make America great again.
Well, it seems like Kenyans are catching the American fever really fast, if the charade that was our party nominations is anything to go by. In exercising their democratic right, Kenyans all over the country kicked the backsides of political bigwigs without as much as a flinch.
In Kiambu, Ferdinand Waititu Baba Yao proved to be an unassailable opponent that not even the eloquent and moneyed William Kabogo could stall with his arsenal of armoured vehicles and choppers. The margin of the win, to put it mildly, was a colossal embarrassment for the incumbent.
In Nairobi, Mike Sonko, who has been derided as a buffoon and a goon, ran over and wiped the floor with the smooth-talking and urbane Peter Kenneth.
In Awendo Constituency in Migori County, one Walter Owino who was dismissed as "illiterate" left his closest opponent chalking in a loser's dust miles away from his landslide victory. The people wanted someone who is not as learned "just like us," and the people got what they wanted.
The Sonkos, Waititus and Owinos of this country have suddenly become the darling of the masses, who apparently have had enough of the snooty loftiness of 'intellectual' snobs who are totally disconnected from the reality of the common mwananchi.
For all they care, you might as well light a jiko or wipe your you-know-what with your transcripts and chain of degrees. What the electorate yearns for are straight-talking guys, people they can relate to, someone who is one of them.
Stuff ideology and the 'isms' of political theory and management. Those things are just stinking up the lives of the electorate to whom elitism is a dirty word. They want someone real, someone who is down-to-earth - more like ravishing a sizeble chunk of kuku kienyeji with your bare hands, not pretentious stabbing of chicken teriyaki morsels with chopsticks!
Hell, your preferred candidate may as well use choice curse words to put down journalists live on national TV! But hey, that's the man we're taking to the august House. Such is the mind of the Kenyan voter today.
The urban elite who cannot stand the thought of being led by a power-drunk moron would campaign for one of their own on Twitter. But sure as the sun sets in the west, that 'sophisticated' social media candidate will be dumped in the smelly bin of rejection by 7am on election day.
The people want servant leadership and they are determined to get it by any means, even if it means backing a numbskull. And for once, their decision will not be hindered by tribal affiliations. Our fate as a country will no longer be determined in political boardroom betting games, where overfed politicians indulge in pricey liquor as they advance their selfish interests. No! The masses will go for that watchman or boda boda guy if that is what it takes to get some service, any service!
The clarion call from the voters is more than loud and clear. If you're interested in political leadership, get off your high horse and get your hands dirty! It's called working. We are no longer going to pay people to put on extra kilos, screw other people's wives and record their carnal escapades, plunder our hard-earned taxes, vomit on our shoes and then insult us with impunity.
It's time to shape up or ship out!