Not tonight sweetie: How couples put sex on the timetable

Kenyans schedule chama meetings, coffee dates, time to watch soccer, holidays, Bible study, as well as choir practice. However, some are known to schedule sex, with detailed calendar entries.

Yes. It sounds laughable. Actually, it sounds like a line from those chick flicks our women are so obsessed with.

Men who are on a schedule have to rise to the occasion. For some, it’s Sunday at 10pm sharp. Sharp is the key word here. For others, it’s 5am any day. Still, for others, it’s Tuesdays twice a week, while others are assured of a romp on the first Monday of every month.

The sexually athletic believe sessions should be spontaneous. After all, planning for it takes away all the fun, right?

There are Kenyan couples who keep a sex timetable in between keeping appointments with the gynecologist and attending kesha.

Michael Kamau, who is in the communications industry, says that while he has never scheduled sex with his wife, they have an agreement.

“We both know Saturday mornings are our love days. No matter what happens, none of us gets out of bed until mid-day on Saturday. If that is called scheduling for sex, then clearly we are scheduling it, though I would want it to think of it as an agreement,” he says.

He adds that after years of marriage, his wife complained that she wasn’t getting enough of his attention.

“As a media practitioner, my schedule is unpredictable. I realised what she was saying was true because I am rarely home before 10pm. On Sundays she goes to church and her women’s meeting, while I spend time with my boys. The only open slot was Saturday mornings,” explains the father of two.

Kamau says that the small price they pay for their ‘slotted love time’ is just being late for weddings or family events that fall on a Saturday.

“We both agreed that Saturdays are the best, but the issue of scheduling it doesn’t seem right. It can actually be a turn-off,” he says.

Lilian Moraa, who has been married for three years, says she has never scheduled sex and hopes she will never have to.

“Yes, there are days he wants and I don’t feel like it, and there are days I want but he is too tired, so we compromise. But the issue of giving him specific days for sex can work because I am sure if he comes home and I tell him it’s not a sex day, he will go get it somewhere,” says Moraa.

She says most of the time she is the one who gives in.

“I can’t say no to him, which means I can’t even suggest putting sex on a timetable,” she adds.