Nairobi women likely to end up as single mothers

Unless women lower their standards to realistic levels and stop looking for men in nightclubs, it will be a long time before they find ‘the one’

The chorus was unanimous and instantaneous. We had scarcely settled in a popular club on Ngong Road when we all uttered the chorus, “Hii place ina madame mob kuliko machali, maze! (this place has more women than men, damn!).

There were at least three women for every man. The women were absolutely beautiful, dressed in short, if not skimpy dresses, high heels (so high, they could touch the sky) and they were all hot and bothered.

Lord! I had missed a night out in Nairobi. Old age is slowly creeping in, and has reduced me to the monthly Radio Maisha Rhumba at Carnivore, which attracts older and decent women, half of whom are former colleagues.

I had missed seeing young girls in their 20s, wearing all the vanity in the world, so happy and carefree. It’s like motherhood and other vagaries of old age were not waiting to pounce on them. As time went by, more women filled into the nightclub that is the size of Jupiter.

As usual, younger women always have trouble buying decent drinks beyond the sweetened beers that can be blamed for the many kids born after 2005.

Often, they rely on desperate older men to buy them shots of good whisky or rum. Older women who are more independent can afford choice poisons and damn any man who tries to use that route into their panties.

But the place was full with the smell of desperation. Anyone who abandons their bed to go to a noisy place, hoping alcohol and loud music can fulfil them is a desperate person. So, I was among the desperate folks, afraid of the unknown. But why so many women? Are they reaping fruits of their independence? Is this what shunning and dismissing men has come to?

In the 2000s, I used to frequent Nairobi nightclubs and the situation was quite different. There were more men for sure, and the level of desperation among women had not hit a peak high as is clearly the case now. Beyond the cheap thrill, the pleasure principle pursuits of humans, there is more to this and we should dig deeper.

When was the last time you attended any of the outdoor festivals in Nairobi? You know, rugby matches, Koroga Festival, Blankets and Wines (are they still in business, by the way?) etc. You must have seen women in their droves trying to enjoy their drinks and acting like they don’t care. But they do. They should.

My guess is that there is a shortage of serious men in Nairobi and women have to scrap for the few decent ones. They spend so much time dealing with skunks and it weighs down on them, the older they grow.

They soon discover that an ugly, short, and balding man who is committed, is far much better than these Ben 10s who will never know when to grow up despite being 37. I mean, all these men hooting from their monster motorcycles are in the wrong side of 30s.

Also, men are having a difficult time trying to make ends meet. The drug barons, government thieves and their ilk, have inflated the cost of seduction in Nairobi rather badly.

It is not uncommon to meet a 24-year-old girl who grew up deep in Mbeere and went to Chogoria Girls, having a taste of good things you would expect from a granddaughter of Jomo Kenyatta. Most men can’t afford this; hence the women go on searching for men who can feed their fine tastes.

Add to this the rise of the independent class of women. I recently did a comparative study of women about my age with whom I graduated and discovered that most of them are doing doing pretty well than men. In the last one year, it is women who have been treating and driving me in their fancy German machines. But when you come down to it, they bother me to hook them up with my male friends.

Sadly, my peers are the hit and run type, and the women want to settle down. I can’t sell them for cheap, thus I advise them to keep searching. May be one day, they may find the right man. But unless they lower their standards to realistic levels, stop looking for men in nightclubs, and start acting like African wives, it will be a long time before they find ‘the one.’ Expect more single mothers in the future.


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