Some women love being strangled during lungula - Maurice Matheka

A couple holding hands in bed

Maurice Matheka, a renowned sexologist, says there are fetishes which some people show openly while others suppress them.

“Fetishes are simply unique sexual preferences that we have as humans,” he says. “There is nothing extraordinary about them, as they are simply expressions of our sexuality.

The ones we hear about, like the man who likes to sniff women’s private parts or underwear are simply the cases that come out in the open.” Matheka adds that fetishes are more conditioned by our environment and upbringing than an outcome of psychological dispositions.

“The psychology behind it is that fetishes represent that which you seek as a person for your sexual gratification. In the same way, one man can feel the urge to masturbate after watching porn, another could get aroused from, say, smelling a woman’s bodily fluids. It is simply what we have been taught to identify as sexy,” explains Matheka, stressing that, “Our upbringing and environment play a part in what becomes a fetish for a person.

Maurice Matheka

 Upcountry, for example, you will rarely find men who think of a woman in swimming costume as sexy, unlike men in the city who see this more frequently.” Matheka notes that fetishes are common among men than women, although women are more likely to discover their kind of fetish than men.

“The most common ones I have experienced are asphyxiation, where a woman enjoys and even orgasms from being strangled, and voyeurism, which is when people draw pleasure from the thought of being observed naked,” says Matheka. He says that men have a longer list of fetishes, including spray from lactating nipples or women dressed in specific garments, like police tunics or in a nurse’s uniform.