Mix them, gather them: Kenyan Intermarriages that might just work

brenda wairimu; juliani

Brenda Wairimu with Juliani

Luo man, Luo woman

This is a relationship that can only work if Awuor doesn’t earn more than Owino. If it does, well, maybe Owino amekaliwa chapati moto!

Indeed, a marriage between a Luo woman and a Luo man is one that’s always in a ‘state of emergency,’ especially if both partners are in high-flying careers.

Peace time is mostly when such couples are busy in bed after a session of drowning a premium blended Scotch whisky.

Luo’s have egos the size of a Pacific island! Having two people from that community in the same house is a recipe for marital disaster.

Luo men also believe that if a Luo woman makes kidogo money, she could make the man ‘see dust’ in the house. “

The opposite of the Luo woman is the Luhya woman who makes a perfect companion for the jang’o.

Kikuyu woman, Kikuyu man

This relationship will work when one party, read Njeri, is trying to gain something from Kamande. After that, the union eventually goes down Sagana River after the fifth born leaves the nest

Few Kikuyu men can stand a woman who is more successful, unless he’s leeching on one half his age. Is this why a loaded Kikuyu woman makes for the best sugar mummy?

The main complaint by Kikuyu women is that their men are tightfisted, living on shoestring budgets, even if they are well-off.

Kikuyu men on the other hand find their women too uptight, and would order mukimo and Pilsner while dressed in Savco jeans skirts in a pub.

Apparently, the best Kikuyu wives are women from Murang’a They are said to be submissive homemakers who will start out with a man cooking githeri using a paraffin stove and stand by him as he gradually acquires enough mullah to treat her at Hemingways, Karen.

A Kikuyu woman from Kiambu, on the other hand is generally money-minded. They are the ones used to bringing wiry men home only to be asked “huyu kwanza amekula?”

Mang’aa Nyeri women are brainy, not money-minded, but could do better fighting Al Shabaab with the Kenya Defence Forces. This would be better than beating their men to a pulp!

Kamba man, Taita woman

Both are diminutive by nature. Both are docile. Both love small time fun. Theirs is more of a brother/sister union where everybody seems to be smiling, even if someone’s heart could be bleeding.

 


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