The alcoholic: 10 types of girls you find in a bar

[Photo: Courtesy]

From the flirts, embarrassing noises to the annoying drunks, these are the girls you will find in the club.

The embarrassing drunk

Probably it’s her birthday, or maybe she tries so hard to do shots with people five times her size. Whatever the reason, there is always this girl who gets unbelievably hammered that you physically cringe at her every move. She says moronic things, dancing off the beat and her countless trips to the bathroom are a clear indication that she should call it a night, but she doesn’t.

The desperate one

This whiner wants attention so badly that she makes a complete fool of herself to get it. Any attention is, to her, good. She stares longingly at every guy in her vicinity and if anyone she knows walks in, she will be the first to hug them and even fakes they are all she was expecting.

The unpleasant party goer

In as much as she is a party animal, this girl parties hard and wants everybody to know that she is the queen of the night. She pounds back countless shots of whatever cheap alcohol she can get her hands on throughout the night and cares less what tomorrow has to offer. She often travels with heavily-perfumed packs of other obnoxious party girls who will raise their standards once a loaded guy decides to buy them a drink.  

The emotional one

After one too many glasses of her favourite drink, this type becomes overly sensitive wreck and spills her guts to anyone who cares to listen. She cries until she has no breath left in her lungs.

The loner             

Once you step into a bar you will notice that one lonely sitting soul perched by the counter. Despite being a lonely introverted person who clearly like keeping to themselves, some of them are actually very friendly people. In as much as she is by herself, deep down she yearns for human interaction but due to her demeanour she ends up all alone all night probably texting her cats. But don’t be deceived, this can actually be the ‘mchele’ devil! 

The shameless flirt

These ones never care whether you are married or not as long as you have a dangling appendage between your legs. They are in for the kill. Her self-worth is based strictly on the attention she gets from guys. When a cocky douche-bag smugly tells her a terrible joke, she flirtatiously touches his forearm and laughs loudly. If you are not careful, you will end up in the wrong bed with her.

The picture addict

This camera-wielding nightmare is going to take pictures of everything. Every time you look in her direction, she and her friends are smiling into a smartphone with their faces pressed against each other as if they were melted together in a radioactive waste accident.

She takes pictures of her drinks. She takes pictures of her shoes. She takes pictures of the straw she found on the floor.

She takes pictures of her pictures. And when her battery dies she bothers the DJ all night to charge her device. Woe to you if you were on date with her. You are clearly on your own.

Ex-boyfriend caller

This girl is hammered way before the sun goes down and won’t shut up about her ex. No matter where the conversation goes, she will find a way to change the topic back to him. She starts off by insulting him but then becomes more affectionate and longing the drunker she gets. And yes, she might actually end up asking him to pick her up to his house before morning breaks.  

 The alcoholic

It’s 5am and this girl has already had twelve drinks. She claims that she can’t even feel them and orders for another one. She has no problem announcing how much vodka she goes through in a week. This woman is one every man should avoid like a plague.   

 The entitled brat

This defective tragedy feels that she shouldn’t have to pay for drinks because she is a woman. She sits around and waits for someone to offer to buy her a drink and then ditches him when the glass is firmly in her hand. She does this repeatedly throughout the night until everyone catches on and shuns her. Call her the witch.