Embarrassing confessions: I peed on my neighbour’s clothes on the hanging line from the balcony- Jalang'o

Jalang'o
  • Jalango had thrown a bash to celebrate a big contract he had landed with a couple of friends
  • At some point, he needed to use the washroom but someone was already using the washrooms
  • Being too pressed he decided to go out to the balcony

Celebs work hard to protect themselves from anyone who tries to dig into their secrets.

Well, the truth is that, just like everyone else, celebs face those embarrassing moments that leave them wondering: “What the hell was all that about?”
Here are some confessions by our stars that will leave you in stiches!

Kenzo – Singer

I have always thought of myself as being too smart for the ever celebs privacy prowling paparazzi. This way, I avoid scandals and opt away from joints where I know paparazzi go to hunt for news.

Kenzo

On this day, my girlfriend came to visit me in South B where I live and decided to take her for a simple lunch at some madondo joint at the shopping centre.

I had just made the order when this editor guy showed up and came straight to my table. His papz started taking photos of us and the whole joint turned attention on us with some saying: “Kumbe huyu ni Kenzo. Hata yeye ukula madondo!”

Besides the media proving that I was really dating this girl, I now looked so cheap eating chapatti-madondo in a small café contrary to the image I always posed. I have never faked life since!

Nasty Bull – CEO, BMG Empire

I was travelling to Nairobi with two of my lady friends. I had spent the entire morning trying to get one lady’s attention and hitching a ride to the city together as I tried to seal the deal.

We finally managed to get a ride from a friend who apparently was interested in the same girl. I sat on the front seat with the driver to keep her away from him.

Back then, safety belts were not taken seriously but the driver insisted that we have them on. I was used to matatus so I didn’t know how to use a safety belt. I struggled with it for a while.

Assuming that no one had noticed my misery, I managed to pull it across only to realise that I had no idea how to buckle up.

I decided to hold it in position only to realise that I had been the centre of attention all along as the two lasses burst into laughter. What a fool was I making myself! This only gave the driver an upper hand to start a hearty conversation with the ladies as they ridiculed me for the entire trip.

Once in the city, I was too embarrassed to keep their company and I dashed out of the car and sped home in the matatus I was used to, hoping to never make contact again.

Jalang’o: Radio host and events emcee

I had just landed a big contract and I was so excited as it was one of the biggest investment bids I had ever received a nod on.

Feeling rather happy, I decided to celebrate with a couple of my friends by throwing a bash. I must admit, I really drained a bit too much.

At some point, I needed to use the washroom but upon knocking, someone was already using the services and was taking too long to finish his business.

 I was too pressed and could hardly hold back so I decided to go out to the balcony where I could do my thing without anyone noticing.

It was only after I had gone halfway my business that I realised I was peeing on the neighbour’s clothes on the hanging line and someone was right there, wondering how I could make such a huge mess. The rest is history.

Genius: DJ

As a new DJ hosting a show at a small downtown club, I started a showstopper early-morning stunt where fans would take to the floor and outdo each other in dancing.

The emerging winner would get a drink of their choice, which I usually paid for. I think it is because of this free drink that Showtime became popular.

However, unknown to me, the club’s entertainment team had not approved the idea. According to one of the workers, they always sneered about it, saying it was meant for an uptown club.

One day, the manager mentioned how she did not like the show but I thought she was just joking.

On a particular night the crowd was charged up and started shouting “Showtime!... Showtime!”, to which I obliged. As I was conducting the contest, the now furious manager stormed into the DJs booth and pulled me by my dreadlocks screaming:

“I told you not to do that crap here!”

The music came to a stop and my fans were up in arms throwing insults and wondering what was going on. I stood there trying to look smart, besides the worst had already happened.

Lulu Kibaara: Singer

As an upcoming artiste, I was so excited to join my boss at a major event in which I had been asked to perform.

It is not every day that a small star performs before dignitaries and you can imagine the butterflies I was feeling inside my stomach as I prepared to prove that I was the real deal.

After we got to the venue, we were ushered into the dinner area and accorded VIP treatment, something I had never experienced before.

 I put my big heavy bag that had everything a lady can carry from the house, on one side of my seat and forgot about it as my concentration went to the delicious food and sumptuous drinks.

Carried away, I swallowed quite a lot, caring little about the VIP guests who by then were still wondering who this young girl could be.

Before I knew it my seat was toppling under the heavy weight of my bag and I was sprawling on the floor with food and drinks pouring all over my little white dress that had now risen above my thighs.

The entire room came to a standstill as I collected myself, a very embarrassed girl.

My confidence was gone and by the time I was hitting the stage, everybody knew I was that clumsy little creature.

 

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