It is the beginning of a new decade! Frankly, I am a little bummed that I am starting yet another decade as a single woman, but I am excited about what the future has in store for me when it comes to love and dating.
As we usher in the New Year, I have been reflecting on my dating life in the last few years and the things I wish the people I dated did differently.
We have to admit that the 2010s has had some of the worst dating trends of all time. All in all, I believe we have all come out of it smarter people and we are ready to leave these bad dating behaviours behind.
Being African timers when it comes to dates
When it comes to lateness, Kenyans are the worst culprits. Tardiness is a big pet peeve for me, yet I somehow have been unable to find a man who values punctuality. The last guy who asked me out was forty-five minutes late to our date and, of course, unapologetic about it. I am tired of this ‘African time’ nonsense especially when it comes to dates. You should never be a late without a good excuse. It just shows that you don’t respect the other person’s time. Let us start showing up to dates on time this New Year.
How hard is it to let somebody know that you’re not feeling the relationship anymore, wish them well and leave? Granted, it sucks to break someone’s heart or disappoint them but it is the right thing to do. Ghosting is uncivilised and cowardly. I have made it a point in my life to never ghost anyone. It doesn’t matter if we have been talking for a month, a week or just a few hours, if I do not wish to pursue anything with you anymore, I let you know.
Stalking your ex
Social media has made it way too easy to keep tabs on our exes and it is ruining our lives! This is why so many of us have been unable to move on from past relationships. You need to stop stalking your exes this New Year. You literally have nothing to gain from it. There is nobody who has ever come out of an ex-stalking session feeling good about themselves. If your ex’s profile is the first profile that comes up on your social media search bar, you need to re-evaluate your life.
Lying to get laid
I hate how some men resort to lies and deception to get sex. If you are just looking for a casual fling, be honest about it. Don’t pretend you want a committed relationship to get into her pants. If you are a married man looking for a little action on the side, be upfront about your marital status from the get-go. Let us leave these games and lies in the 2010s.
Read Also: The problem with dating in Nairobi
Being afraid of discussing protection, STDs and birth control with a new partner
I don’t know why people, especially women, don’t like discussing these topics with new partners before being intimate with them. So many women leave it up to the man to decide if a condom will be used or not, and if the guy decided to ditch the rubber, they don’t object. In this day and age, you cannot afford to be this careless about your life! Always insist on using a condom and if he wants to hit it raw, ask that you both get tested for STIs and discuss other birth control methods.
Happy New Year!