Nairobi women's love affair with fat wallets

“It’s common to meet a woman in Nairobi today, and tomorrow or even that very evening, she wants you to shoulder all her earthly burdens."

Ordinarily, the dating game is supposed to be so competitive, men ought not to easily have their way.

Hearts should be broken, egos scarred and lots of sweat or even bloodshed to win a hot woman.

Like beasts or hyenas in the wild, men should often be rejected and forced to retreat either to lick their wounds or plan a stronger assault on their object of desire.

The thrill of the chase, that battle of wits, is always exhilarating. And the harder the chase, the sweeter the prey, they say. Basically, no woman should be easy prey or lay, so to speak.

But Nairobi women are a strange lot. They have a weakness; they just can’t resist a man with a fat wallet.

Could it be that the majority of them live beyond their means?

Any man coming their way with pockets full of cash always gets their attention; his age, looks, personality notwithstanding.

“It’s common to meet a woman in Nairobi today, and tomorrow or even that very evening, she wants you to shoulder all her earthly burdens,” laughs Hillary Otieno, a city resident.

Otieno says he has on many occasions met women who make all kinds of financial requests almost immediately after meeting.

“One woman shocked me when she asked me to refill her gas the evening of the day I met her. You meet her and the first thing she asks from you a day later is to pay her rent, buy her electricity tokens, buy her a phone or lend her Sh3,000, which they never repay,” complains Otieno, wondering what has become of women.

Cash as tonic for the heart

Now that the secret is out, city men don’t waste much time with them; they employ legal tender.

Money is said to be tonic for the heart and many men spend fortunes to woo women, even if for one night, to just prove a point and massage their ego.

Take, for instance, a certain Jim, who was so besotted by the neighbourhood heartthrob Muthoni, aka Kendi.

Every day, he happened to be just ‘driving by’ the bus stop as she stood waiting for a bus to town. Being a man of considerable means, he lavished her with expensive gifts, ostentatious dinners (the candle-lit type) and treatment to beauty accessories and spas.

Being a devout Christian, Kendi was at first apprehensive and obstinate, which only made the chase sweeter.

But money has a way of eliciting enthusiasm, melting the proverbial ‘heart of stone’, even loosening certain fabrics, as it turned out.

Girls prefer lies to painful truths

Not all girls are of good virtue, so men have adapted accordingly.

While the religious types will require you to take them level by level until you walk her down the aisle, a good number of them are an easy slope to ski down, depending on how well and fast you play your ATM card.

Tom, a well-known ‘expert’ on the subject advises: “It’s all about the Benjis; money talks. Nowadays, you don’t need to waste time on sweet nothings or showing off your intellect.”

According to Tom, when you are out with a city girl, it does not also hurt to mention your membership to exclusive clubs- real or imagined.

“Nothing pinches a woman’s nose to attention like a man who knows people. It makes her feel safe,” laughs Tom.

Dave Mwiti also has no qualms about employing loads of money to get a woman he wants.

“Money is an almost sure way to get the desired results when it comes to seducing most women,” he says.

Showing off still impresses many

He says that he can spend a small fortune in a single day, just to put him ahead in the game, especially if it is a woman all the neighbourhood boys are panting after.

Just like everybody else, he says, he is turned on by beauty but also appreciates that there are very many men out there after the same ‘bird’.

“In the animal kingdom, the males show that they are capable by ferociously fighting off invaders. Among men, and now that fighting is illegal, we whip out our wallets in her full view to make sure she sees that thick wallet with a heavy wad of notes, even if you are just paying a Sh500 bill,” adds Mwiti.

The ‘whipper’ tactic is as old as they come and many men have impressed with it, especially since the subject has no way of ascertaining whether the heavy wad is actually yours.

Mwiti, however, warns that while overwhelming her into submission with your largesse, it is important to behave like this is your everyday life.

A certain long-distance athlete from Rift Valley, for instance, is famous for getting loudly irritated when a waiter returns change when he is in the company of women

— even if it’s Sh999. His is a strict ‘keep change’ policy.

Dave, a barber at one of the most exclusive shops in town, says many times his clients direct their girlfriends to his barbershop when they are planning to meet.

Reason? His outfit is the kind where trimming a beard costs as much as some miserly men spend on their barbers in a year. The mere association with such an exclusive joint fires up many female loins, he says.

“I don’t for a second think women who love money are ‘morally’ loose. I think it is not the money they love. Rather, it is the things money can buy!” he states matter-of-factly.

Magic of dangling car keys

It appears gone are the days when a man would impress a girl with his breadth of knowledge unless, of course, that knowledge is being exhibited in an exclusive resort, not a dingy roadside bar.

But not all women are bawled over by money. Beth, an electrician with a Nairobi firm, says she would never consider a long-term relationship with a man who flaunts his money.

“Men with money never flaunt it because they know they have it. It’s the broke fakes spending money they made from a crooked deal or the proceeds of a bank loan, or workmen carrying money from the office, who play those childish games,” says Beth.

She adds that such men are shallow and most clever women just ‘eat’ their money and dump them.

“It is easy, for instance, to tell whether the guy driving a car owns it or he’s just borrowed it to impress some empty-headed woman. The borrower dangles the car keys all over the place and drives with the windows down, music blaring,” says Betty.

Mark, a computer salesman, says using money to seduce women has its setbacks.

Once, he says, he showered money on a beautician with legs to kill for like the world was ending. But when he drove her to his ‘home’ in a leafy suburb for the night, he was grossly embarrassed when the night guard denied him entry.

“You see, I had ‘hired’ a friend’s expensive apartment to impress her, but forgot to remind my host to tell the watchmen to play along!” Mark recalls with laughter.

But what still tickles him is that on another occasion, after spending his rent impressing a woman he assumed was classy to no avail, he was shocked a week later to find her drinking cheap beer in a dingy bar in Wangige on the outskirts of Nairobi!