Rasta man’s ‘wagwan’ jargon causes laughter, confusion during trial

Edward Njeru Njue alias Ras Edu in court.

The trial of a Rasta man, complete with Rasta jargon, last Thursday at Nairobi’s Milimani courts goes a long way to prove how comical a court session can turn to be. 

Edward Njeru Njue was arraigned and charged that on March 6, along Kirinyaga Road, Nairobi, he was found trafficking 20 rolls of bhang value at Sh1,000.

When asked the language he would wish to use in court, Njeru said that he was good in Swahili, English and Gikuyu only break into Rasta slang during his trial.

“Ni vile sikufika bei ya Babylonian cops wakanishikadem na kunivishadem bangili,” Njue answered during plea.

It took the intervention of the prosecution to digest the words which loosely translate to: “I was arrested by the police and hand-cuffed because I did not give a bribe.”

“Are you pleading guilty or not,” Principal Magistrate Hellen Onkwani asked. “I am guilty wagwan!Njue answered.

Further prodded by the court on whether he uses the drug, the suspect responded: “Yeah-men, kama Rasta hii kitu ni Yes I.” (As a Rasta Bhang is allowed).

As the magistrate wrote down the proceedings, Ras Edu, as the suspect preferred to be addressed turned to a female court orderly and exclaimed: “Ahoy, sisteren, wewe ni mrembo vi-wagwan!”  “What are you saying to the police,” the magistrate inquired.

 “Namshow ni mrembo videadly hakuna ngori (I have complemented her beauty, nothing sinister),” Njue replied to a thunderous laughter from the court gallery.

The magistrate asked the prosecution to deliver its stand in the case after Njue pleaded guilty. The prosecution, however, had no facts of the offence and had also not carried the exhibit to court, they asked the court to allow them to present the two substances in case today.

The court pushed the matter as asked by the prosecution and sent Njue to remand.

Before leaving the dock, Njue told the magistrate he had not eaten since he was arrested. “You are going to the Industrial Area remand facility where the state will provide for your breakfast, lunch and supper, is that okay?” posed the magistrate.

Fiti madam (that’s fine with me),” Njue said as he walked to the court cells from where he was ferried to the Industrial Area Remand awaiting the court’s verdict today.

I went to police station drunk to celebrate birth of my twins, man tells court

In other news, how should one act at the birth of twins? This became a subject a Nakuru court was forced to rule on last week, after police charged a man with being drunk and disorderly.

Francis Mungai, 65, was charged that on March 4 he stormed Naishi police station in Njoro while drunk and disorderly. The court was told that Mungai stormed the station a few metres from his house to “celebrate” the birth of his twins.

“Your honour, I was very happy after receiving the news, I took some alcohol in the course of celebrating and went to police station to share the joy with them as they are my immediate neighbours,” said the remorseful suspect in Mitigation after pleading guilty.

“However, I think I took more alcohol, which prompted me to celebrate in a way police mistook to be disorderly.”

Mungai inquired from the magistrate, Joe Ominde: “Or how would a father have acted, mheshimiwa? The magistrate smiled. “We are all fathers and always happy with such news, you honour. Please pardon me so that I can go enjoy time with my two angels and wife,” said

The court freed him under caution:  “Go home but if you commit any offences within a period of three months you will be arrested and convicted for both offences,” said the magistrate.