Go well Tuku, Ingram: Music is the food of love

Oliver and James [Photo: Courtesy]

Today I take a moment to mourn the passing of two great musicians  - Oliver Mtukudzi and James Ingram.

These men were not personal friends and I know nothing much about them, but I felt the sense of kinship and ownership that we develop over people whose music we enjoy. Most of us are born with a desire and ability to appreciate some form of music.

If your partner has not been affected by the passing of a single musician over the past decade, then you are probably stuck with the world’s most unromantic person.

Your wife does not have to be a fan of James Ingram, or even know who he is, but if she never even hums along to a single love song, something is the matter. Music is the food of love.

Although I could not understand many of the songs Tuku sang, I was moved by his music and the message of the ones I could grasp. When Hubby and I were still young and broke and dating, Hubby used up a chunk of his, then meagre, salary to take me to a Tuku concert in Kampala. It was definitely one of the highlights on our dating journey.

Music is important because it can provide a platform for shared interests, which will become a way you and your person bond together. There are some songs which play and I will look across at Hubby and he will look at me and we will both know we are thinking about the same thing, remembering the same joke or having the same memory.

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It also bonded us closer together to know that even separately in our youth, we liked the same music.

A shared love for music is one of the obvious ways in which couples can carve out time to spend with one another. When our favourite band is in town, Hubby and I know it is going to be a date. 

It becomes something to look forward to and a way to treat ourselves. A concert is also a space in which you can be silly, childish and let your hair down. Those are the moments in which love grows. For those of you born in these unromantic times may not know what a mixtape is; it is when someone recorded a selection of love songs on one cassette (Google that if you have never seen it) and then presented it to a person they admired.

I am happy to say that not only have Hubby and I exchanged mixtapes, I knew he was the one when he imported a CD I wanted from the UK. We have since entered the 21st Century by making playlists for one another using mp3 files on a flash drive.

Some of you might want to cover your ears now, but there is also music for adult time. Happy time can be made that much happier with some background tunes.

If I think even further back – to high school, young people used to write each other letters and end them with a ‘dedication’ at the end. I don’t know if this KFC generation still does such things, but they are most certainly missing out.

If someone send you a ‘dedz’, it meant you had to find the song, listen to it and carefully dissect all the lyrics before appropriating them to yourself. Guys and girls with the coolest dedz were of course the most memorable and received the most letters – think of them as the social media ‘likes’ of the day.

As a Christian woman, I have comrades who view love songs as worldly and evil, forgetting the parts of our Bible that would make anyone blush.

Music is a God-given talent and tool, and I am not going to abandon it to the devil because a few misguided people want to use it to glorify sex, drugs and crime. If you are a Christian lover who cannot get behind even classical or country music then I am sorry for you.

If nothing about this article has sent you down memory lane, I will pray for you, brother.

All I can say is, please find a way to love each other with music. It’s one of those good things in life that come absolutely free.