Why men are like Bluetooth and women Wi-Fi

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There is a proverb from the ancient Egyptian wisdom that declares that ‘if you marry a monkey for its wealth, the money goes and the monkey remains’.

One of the problems why love and sorrow are cohabiting in many a lover’s hearts is because of the different things that we are seeking in relationships.

You cannot treat malaria with a cough syrup; similarly a woman cannot go into a relationship hoping to lift her clan out of poverty.

Women, in the name of love always go for the strongest and the wealthiest. Has love become so discriminatory that it can smell my poverty ten kilometres away?

Love can only be rekindled if the modern day spinsters stopped viewing dating as a ticket to living a good life.

As long as men know that it is their pockets and not their mouths or even brains that need to be engaged in relationship, then this discordant and toxic atmosphere and the blame game will continue.

As politicians eat maize and any other resource that they can lay their hands on, lovers will only be stewing in misery and misunderstanding.

Famous Nigerian author Chinua Achebe’s once remarked in one of his books that since “Eneke the bird says that since men have learned to shoot without missing, he has learned to fly without perching.”

So when men realise that the only real love is for the money and the lifestyle that they can afford the so called lovers, the men have decided to ‘buy milk from the nearby shop on need basis, instead of keeping an expensive cow.’

Now, good people, this is figurative language, I do not want to be accused of referring to certain dignified and hard working class of citizens as cows.

They deal with you when you are there for it has become quite clear in the dating game that women are like WiFi. They see all the available devices but only connect to with the device with the strongest signal.

Similarly, men only connect with nearby devices. You only connect your bluetooth gadgets when you want to use them and men have learnt the need to only switch on the ‘Bluetooth’ mode when they want to connect to nearby ‘devices’.

So before fire spiting feminists accuse men of short-changing them in the dating scene, they need to remember that Bluetooth can only connect to one device at a time and would need confirmation from both devices to connect.

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