As human beings, we all have preferences when it comes to the people we date. Sometimes we just can’t help what we are attracted to. Personally, I am very particular about the physical appearance of the men I choose to go out with and I will make no apologies for that.
Call me shallow or vain, but I honestly don’t care. As expected, quite a number of people are put out by the fact that I can only date men who look a certain way or men who live a certain way, but at the end of the day they have no choice but to accept that to each his own.
However, it is a different kettle of fish when a Kenyan woman mentions ‘white’ as a dating preference. All of a sudden, everyone goes on the offensive. Is it really such a big deal for a black, African woman to have a racial preference in dating? Apparently, it is!
A Kenyan woman saying that she only dates white men is deemed as the most contemptible and shameful thing a woman could possibly say. One of my Facebook friends once wrote in a Facebook post that she prefers dating white men.
The backlash was swift and vicious. They have never let her live it down up to this day.
Personally, I don’t have a racial preference in dating but I got a taste of this outrage sometime back when I let it slip that out of the four relationships I had been in at that time, two of them were with white men.
Like I said, I have never had a racial preference in dating and I was not intentionally seeking white men to date when I met those men. People tend to date the people around them and at that time, the people around me happened to be mostly whites.
However, the fact that I didn’t specifically seek out these white men didn’t matter. Just having dated two white men made me an affront to the African race.
The group of friends and acquaintances I was with tore into me. I was told that I am a money hungry, self-loathing, and brainwashed fool with an aspiration for whiteness.
They said that the only reason I had gone out with the white man was because I was suffering from internalized racism.
I was shocked by their animosity over the issue.
Looking back at my relationships with the two white men, I remember how I always found myself defending those relationships to my friends and family and even strangers.
I always had to tell people that I wasn’t dating them for their money or because of a predilection for mixed race babies.
When I met those men, I fell in love with their characters and their personalities, not their skin colour.
This experience made me wonder why we feel so much contempt for women who have a preference for white men as opposed to having a preference for tall men or muscular men.
If you say you are attracted to tall, muscular men, you will tick off a few people but it is not a big deal. However if you say you are attracted to white men, everyone and their mother will be baying for your blood. Why is this so?
Women shouldn’t be made to feel bad about the kind of men they are drawn to. It is 2018 for Christ’s sake.
It is nobody’s business but their own whom they are attracted to.