If you are new in Kampala, don’t go around expressing your love and admiration freely as it might earn you years in prison.
I know we claim to be the entertainment capital of East Africa, but manage your expectations. And if you are not successful in looking for love, just aim your emotions at another target. 25-year-old Brian Isiko, who started his two-year residence behind bars on Thursday discovered as much to his loss.
Brian fell in love with a woman almost twice his age and the feeling developed into an obsession. He phoned her but she wasn't interested. He started texting her but still she wasn’t moved.
Trouble was, she was not your ordinary woman. She was a member of parliament, the honourable Sylvia Rwabwoogo, representing the district of Kabarole in the national legislature. Meaning that if she gets irritated, it is the duty of the state to deal with the cause of her irritation decisively.
So when Brian’s obsession, which started last November, showed no sign of declining, she did the first thing a lady who feels stalked does; she blocked his number.
But the problem is that Sylvia, from the western kingdom of Tooro, is quite stunning. So Brian was not willing to stop his quest.
As the queen of the central Buganda kingdom is called Sylvia, poor Brian was now entertaining dreams of having his own Queen Sylvia, and an elected MP at that. So he started using text messages.
One of Brian’s text messages to Sylvia, which was tendered in court as exhibit read: “I love you so much and want to protect you. My love is for you alone and since there is no one taking care of you, I will do it.”
Only Brian knows what kind of protection he wanted to give the Honourable MP who has access to armed guards provided by the state.
And that is what she did. She reported the matter to Parliament security and secured armed security.
She then responded to Brian’s incessant pleas for love and agreed to meet him at a café in a petrol station on Jinja Road. The poor boy came panting and on seeing the gorgeous MP, whipped out his college ID and tossed it at her to prove that he was the Prince Charming come take care of her.
Her guards pounced and arrested the hapless fellow.
In record time for our slow judicial machine, Brian was produced in court within a week. As Brian smiled sheepishly when the charges were being read to him, the honourable complainant got even moe traumatised and burst into tears.
The magistrate, Ms Gladys Kasamunyu, decided that Brian was remorseless, and sentenced him to two years for cyber harassment plus nine months for making offensive communication. Both sentences are to run concurrently.
The love struck Brian apologised but maintained he had done everything out of love. And thus began two years of interruption for Brain’s academic career. Hopefully, he will learn a few other things in jail.