Hot intern lights up staff room, leaves male teachers drooling

Even boys have been queuing at her desk to be helped with mathematics problems!

A love triangle involving Aeneas, a teacher on teaching practice and Alex is the latest scandal to rock Meta Meta. Alex is a physics teacher employed by the school board. At the centre of the love triangle is Helen.

Like the legendary Helen of Troy, whose heart and beauty led to a ten-year war between the troops of King Menelaus of Sparta and those of prince Paris of Troy, the sight of the TP teacher is pleasing to the eye.

Even boys have been queuing at her desk to be helped with mathematics problems! Oddly, mathematics is now a subject of choice.

Helen’s presence has been felt in the staffroom. Aeneas, a man reputed for his meanness, has miraculously become generous; he has been flooding the staffroom with KDFs (mandazi) and chapos during tea break.

Alex, his rival for Helen’s heart, does not have the financial muscle to compete against Aeneas and has been left sulking and cursing. Last Thursday, the two almost got into a fist fight.

According to Schola, our school’s chief gossiper, Aeneas bought Helen a laptop and was annoyed when he found Alex playing music on it.

He told Alex that the staffroom wasn’t a disco hall and that he should stop playing the music. An argument ensued and almost degenerated into a fist fight.

Vasco Da Gama used his diplomatic skills to calm the situation. Schola claims that Alex was mad because even after taking an M-Shwari loan to try and compete for her attention, Helen had no time for him.

Aeneas has a history of preying on young ladies on teaching practice. The female teachers led by Magarita and Annette have made it their mission to routinely warn the targeted ladies about him. The younger hearts sneer at the advice. Lately he has been dressing like a teen; in tight fitting shirts and trousers.

Magarita, has been making comments about old men dressing like young boys and risking a pneumonia attack. Annette our welfare chair too complained about men who can’t pay their welfare contributions but have money to splash on ‘slay queens’.

Aeneas’ last contribution to the staff welfare kit was in July last year. There are rumours that Aeneas put one of the teaching practice ladies in the family way. He, however, dumped her as soon as she delivered the baby. According to Schola who chronicles and broadcasts all happenings at Meta Meta, the young mother has sought help for child support through FIDA.

Aeneas no longer takes Jezebel’s murram (githeri) during lunch time. With Helen, they have been going to the shopping centre where more sumptuous and palatable meals can be found.

The two always come back with toothpicks dangling from their mouths. They have also become prized patrons at JJ’s, our local, where on many evenings they feast on Nyama Choma.

Aeneas has stopped drinking Guinness. He now sips wine from a special glass, while Helen has been emptying bottles of Guarana.

The affair has gotten so hot that Wa Makeri and margarita are said to have called all the ladies on teaching practice and warned then against engaging in affairs with members of staff. Schola claims that Aeneas’ wife has gotten wind of the affair and is planning to storm Meta Meta soon.

We are holding our breath.

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