Residents of Nairobi’s Umoja Estate were last weekend treated to a bizarre late-night free-for-all drama.
This was after an unidentified man, said to be a well-endowed Casanova, differed with a suspected woman of easy virtue, whom he had brought home for a randy romp.
It is said the woman changed her mind and unsuccessfully tried to flee after she discovered the man is hung like a donkey.
He made matters worse when he confessed to her that he had taken Viagra to boost his performance that night.
What began as a small argument between the duo over the woman’s change of heart quickly spiralled out of control and turned into a shouting match.
It all started around midnight when neighbours were woken up by noises from the usually quiet home. The tipsy woman was heard telling off the man, repeatedly shouting that she be left alone because she can’t sleep with a man that big.
Libido boosting tablet
Much as the man is said to be randy and always entertains different women at his house, some whom residents say are of questionable character, this was the first time such an embarrassing and dramatic incident had taken place.
Some of the curious neighbours stepped out of their houses to check the source of the noise. Some said they initially thought the home had been attacked by thugs.
They knocked on the gate when they heard a woman demanding to be left alone as the man yelled in a bid to calm her down.
He was heard pleading that he had spent a lot of money on her and had even invested in libido-boosting tablets, just because of her. He was heard vowing that he was not going to let his heard-earned cash go to waste.
The inebriated man ignored their knocks initially, only to give in later. They found him bare-chested, dressed only in white boxer shorts as he seethed with rage.
The man was remorseful for waking up the neighbours as he tried to explain what had transpired.
He informed them the woman was his guest and that nothing much was going on, they had only differed after she refused to pay his debt.
The woman, locked in the house, unashamedly shouted through the window, laying bare the scandalous details of the incident to all and sundry.
She revealed that she was a stranger to the man and they had met that evening at a restaurant in Nairobi, where they dined and wined together.
The woman added that the man had paid her to go with him home for some good time. The furious man could hardly contain his anger as he recalled he had spent close to Sh5,000 buying her beer and roast meat, plus another Sh2,000, which he claimed he had given her as pocket money.
After he was forced to deny or confirm the woman’s allegations, he owned up but wonder loudly why she had changed her mind. Some of the residents asked her to refund the man’s cash since she had not rendered any service.
“Lazima alipe ushuru ama utalilia kwa choo (She must refund the money or suffer the indignity and consequences),” a cheeky resident was heard saying.
The visibly angry man cracked up his neighbours when he revealed he had even taken some male vitality pills since he did not wish to disappoint the woman. To this, a woman in the crowd shouted, “Ashindwe”.
One of the neighbours accused the victim of being naive. “Buda, unalipa aje fare na hata gari yenyewe haujapanda (Why would you pay bus fare before boarding a bus)?” he chuckled.
It took the intervention of the neighbourhood association chairman who solved the matter by ordering the man to set the woman free.