My girlfriend is draining me with dates in high-end restaurants and bars, should I leave?

I really like her
  • I am in love with new catch but her expectations are too high
  • She expects me to dress in a certain way and only take her out to high-end restaurants
  • When I complain, she says I am not romantic

Hi, I am a man in my mid-20s and recently started going out with a woman I met at work. She is gorgeous and has a great personality but I feel like her expectations are too high.

 She expects me to dress in a certain way and only take her out to high-end restaurants and bars.

When I complain, she says I am not romantic. I really like her but I can’t keep up with her expectations. Should I ask her to tone it down or just cut my losses and leave? Steve, Malindi

Dear Steve,

Romance is not about spending money on gifts and dates. It sounds like you are just not compatible. Don’t drive yourself into debts to please this woman.

I’m uncomfortable with my boyfriend’s cute female pal

I have been dating my boyfriend for four months and he recently moved back to the neighbourhood he grew up in and reconnected with his college girlfriend who lives there.

 He told me he had reconnected with her as a friend and I didn’t have a problem with that until I saw her.

She is thin and very pretty while I have gained weight and feel self-conscious about my appearance. I really don’t want her around my boyfriend.

Do I tell him that I am not happy about him hanging out with her? Pauline, Nairobi

Dear Pauline,

Don’t punish other people because of your low self-esteem. You cannot dictate who your boyfriend can be friends with.

If you are not happy with the way you look, work on that instead of comparing yourself with your boyfriend’s ex.

We always fight with my live-in girlfriend, help

Hi, my live-in girlfriend of four years and I are always arguing and it is wearing me down. Everything always turns into an argument and I can’t take it anymore.

We fight over the smallest things and end up not talking to each other for hours even though we are living under the same roof. What can I do to stop the arguments and bring back the harmony? Duncan, Athi River

Dear Duncan,

Find out what the arguments are really about. You could be arguing about dirty dishes on the sink but there could be underlying issues causing the argument. Maybe she feels you are not pulling your weight in the house. Once you figure out the real issue, talk about it.

We live together but he is afraid of starting a family

Hi, I am a 26-year-old woman. I have been together with a 25-year-old man for five years and married for a year now.

We had agreed to start a family after marriage but my husband has suddenly changed his mind about that and says we postpone starting a family for a few years.

 I don’t understand his sudden change of heart, since we had talked about it and we are doing well financially. I have always wanted a family and I am ready. What do I do? Christine, Kisumu

Dear Christine,

Has he given you his reasons for wanting to postpone starting a family? Talk to him and see if you are on the same page and that he still wants to have children.

Remember that having a child is a huge responsibility and you should do it when you are both ready. 


JOIN THE CONVERSATION


next