Chaos in Vihiga at granny's funeral over outstanding 140 shillings dowry

There was a free-for-all drama in Vihiga County last Saturday after the burial of a granny was interrupted by fuming emissaries from her ancestral home, demanding an outstanding dowry of Sh140 and two cows.

What was expected to be a decent and solemn send-off for the 71-year-old widow surnamed Sabeti who died after a short illness, turned chaotic, following a disagreement between relatives over bride price arrears.

What began as an argument quickly escalated into a full-blown verbal war, with the two warring factions exchanging bitter words as shocked mourners watched in disappointment.

Four elderly men who had travelled all the way from Maseno, together with the deceased’s other kin, demanded that her in-laws pay up the two cows and money which had been negotiated decades ago as dowry, but was never paid. The men made good their threat to stop the burial, claiming that their customs don’t allow in-laws to enjoy burial rights if they have an unsettled dowry payment.

“This matter has been dragging on for decades. Our in-laws have refused to pay the dowry, yet they want to be given burial rights. She was married customarily and our customs don’t allow that,” one of dead woman’s kin said.The deceased’s husband died 11 years ago before settling the dowry. The furious in-laws said it was unfortunate that her husband played cat-and-mouse games with them over the dowry, and never settled it.

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“Each time the dowry matter came up, the man always had an excuse. He kept avoiding her parents and when they died, some of us never followed up the matter. He engaged us in hide and seek games,” said Kevogo, a brother to the deceased, adding that, “We never cared so much because we are not her parents, after all. But we feel they must show some appreciation even in death.”

After her husband’s death, the woman continued living in the home where she was treated as one of their own. Her only child, a grocer in Luanda market only identified as Maggie, refused to comment on the matter, saying it was a trying moment for her and didn’t want to be dragged into the arguments. “These are hard times for us, let us grieve in peace,” she told this writer.

“Our culture has to be respected. If a man doesn’t pay dowry, he or his kin can’t bury his wife’s remains. Her people have to take back the body,” added a vocal Kevogo. “Taking away this body is not a problem for us. We can bury her at our place, unless we are given the livestock,” an unidentified loud and rowdy relative added, threatening to cart away the casket.

There was, however, some reprieve after elders calmed down the two warring factions, urging them to respect the dead and settle the matter amicably. The burial had to be postponed to the following day after the two families agreed to deal with the dowry matter at a later date.