Following various theories presented as to the true reason behind Jamaica's dominance in the sprint races, some little-known Kenyan researchers claim to have discovered what has long baffled many in both the academic and sports world.
After little research and a lot of speculation Prof. Wak Manyang' and Dr. Emalek Kiso have attributed marijuana as the reason why Jamaicans are so fast.
In a research paper titled 'Weed for Speed; The case for legalising Cannabis Sativa' the researchers claim that copying Jamaican habits such as their dance styles or even wearing Jamaican flag themed bracelets or bandanas will not help Kenya produce sprinters. Rather, the researchers argue, Kenyans must be allowed to grow, sell and liberally consume marijuana for sports reasons.
"Forgive the pun but if we are to succeed in sprint races it is high time cannabis was legalised..." the authors of the paper asserted. "This is the only way to put the country on the map with regards to short distance races."
But the researchers were quick to warn that not all varieties of cannabis are beneficial for developing speed in athletes or budding athletes. A variety of marijuana named Cannabis Sprinticus which the authors claim is native to the Jamaican countryside is what the researchers are recommending. Fortunately it is very similar to Cannabis Sativa, arguably Kenya's biggest secret cash crop.
The researchers added that Kenya has the right environment that is conducive for growing Cannabis Sprinticus.
"Our country is blessed with the right climate, good soils and a corruptible police service and provincial administration!" the duo noted in their paper which has been published in a local science journal.
Before settling on weed the researchers revealed they had considered other options the country could use to become a sprinting super power. This included tapping into the gene pool of Jamaicans. This would have involved the governments of Kenya and Jamaica signing a bilateral baby reproduction pact.
Kenyan women would then be incentivised to make babies with Jamaican men, say when Jamaican reggae artistes are visiting, and vice versa. In the end however the researchers found bhang to be the cheapest, most convenient and cost-effective.
No sooner had the recommendations been made public than accusations surfaced that the researchers were users of banned substances.
"There's no other way to explain the ridiculousness of the report... someone needs to find out what the authors were smoking – it is probably not just something illegal but probably something both illicit and contaminated," a religious leader is quoted as saying.
Another 'expert' argues that actually the best way of developing sprinters in this country is to continue criminalising weed. Thus when Kenyans spot the police and they are in possession of the substance they will sprint away avoid arrest.
"The laws should actually be made more punitive so that more and more Kenyans can discover their hidden sprinting potential when the police spring a surprise on them and they have to flee at high speeds," opined a senior lawyer.
Other critics of the report say that for the country to become a major producer of sprinters, athletics officials only need to widen the pool from which talent is sourced.
These critics advise that during future trials in the sprint categories, the organisers invite such groups as the hawkers, twilight girls and touts especially from Nairobi.
"These people are always sprinting away from the county government askaris, police and the like... or sprinting after clients who have refused to pay, there's natural talent there. We could be sitting on a goldmine here..." said a sports analyst.
